Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Sandbagging

Michael is one of my yoga instructors.  When I see his car in the parking lot, I often consider not walking into the studio.  The truth is he challenges me more than the other instructors.  He always knows when my mind has drifted off or I am not giving it my all.  It reminds me of how my Dad would bust me in mundane lies as a teenager.  After a recent class, he commented that I was "sandbagging."  I had to go home and search the term on google.  Here is one of the definitions I came up with "To deliberately perform at a lower level than you are capable of."  This is a metaphor for the past four years of my life.  I have been sandbagging through life.  It is part of why I haven't pursued many things.  I have been considering entrepreneur ventures, but I am more aware of my road block.  The darn sandbag attached to my ass.  
I truly believe and preach that if you are not happy with your current situation, you and only you have the power to change it.  I believe this with all that I am, yet fine myself stationary.  What will it take for me to go pursue these things? I know that I cannot depend on a company for income. For security, I must create ownership over a skill etc, that I can be lucrative at even without an 8-5 gig.  
 Only I have the power to change this.  Operation ditch the sandbag begins (or continues). 

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