Thursday, December 1, 2011

Saying Happy Holidays with Poinsettias

The season for poinsettias has arrived.  The red, seasonal plant characterized as a holiday plant as not to offend anyone.  The perfect option to decorate an office full of Christians, Jews, a Hindu and a few other varieties.  
 I took the Bossman's Costco card and headed to pick up some poinsettias for the office.  I'm not a bulk shopper and was not familiar with the strict rituals of shopping at such a store.  Pretty intimidating your first time, I must say.  Before I was allowed entry I had to show the (Bossman's) Costco card complete with his mugshot on the back.  It felt like showing my ID to get into a bar back in the day...back in the days I got carded that is.   Access granted.  I fill up the cart with poinsettias on sale 4 for $20.  I head to the massive check-out lines.  I get up to pay and am required to give the card again.  Shit really?! I hand it over with the I'm suppose to be here too look.  Check-out man hardly seems to pay attention until he starts handing me the card back.  "Is this your husband?" He asks.  "Yes" I answer hesitantly.  
"Mrs. Bhatnagar, make sure your husband puts you on his account.  I shouldn't really even let you leave."  He scorns.  He knew damn well I was not Mrs. Bhatnagar and not just because the credit card I used had my real last name. 
Check-out Nazi finally lets me leave.  I head to the office and carry as many poinsettias in at once as I possibly can trying to minimize my trips to and from the car.  I am wearing all black.  I head into the office and set the plants around the office.  Bossman compliments the new decor and then I catch him giving me one of his concerned looks.  "Uhh, you have, uhhh, on your, uhhh, sweater," He says giving me a somewhat disgusted look.  I look down at my black sweater to find a white, creamy substance drippled on my chest area.  Now, poinsettias as most of us know have a, white sap that oozes out of the red leaves.  By the look on Bossman's face, he was not aware of this characteristic of the plant and was reminded of another similar substance.  My face turned bright red, and I looked down at the creamy, white substance on my shirt and could only imagine what he too couldn't help but think of.  
"It is from carrying the plants in!  Look, the white is from the plants!" I yelled at him as he walked into his office with a smirk on his face, seemingly ignoring my explanation.  
My lesson of the day?  Never carry poinsettias again. 

7 comments:

  1. Oh dear. I've never been to a Costco, but I'm sure it's like a Sams and that place is intimidating. I used my actual husbands card before and wasn't even allowed through the entrance. Like my money isn't good enough because I don't have a membership to their elite concrete club. Ah well. I hope you were able to remove the white substance from your blouse without encountering any more smirks.

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  2. Hahaha, that really made me laugh out loud. Hope your day got better, Sam.

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  3. Haha! i need to pick one up for our house!

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  4. Ohhhhh that is so embarrassing. Hey, shame on him for having a dirty mind!

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  5. Ha! That is pretty funny! I think my face would have been as red as the plant.

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  6. Oh, that's funny! I like poinsettias and I love to display it at home during holiday season.

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