Sunday, December 4, 2011

Check-out Lady's dog

In the grocery store line I over heard the conversation with the Check-out Lady and the guy checking out in front of me.  Check-out Lady's dog was in the hospital and she had cut off her cell phone to save money to pick her dog up from the vet.  Thinking of my own beloved dog, when it was my turn to check-out I asked about her dog.  Our conversation went something like this. 
"She is a beautiful white lab.  She is my baby.  She has her own chest of drawers for clothes.  It is like she is a person and wears clothes everyday," said Check-out Lady. 
"I understand.  Pets really feel like a part of the family," I said.  
"She got attacked by two pit bulls in our back yard.   Our neighbors participate in dog fights.  I'm going to visit her after work today.  The vet thinks she will make it," She said.  
"I will keep you and your dog in my thoughts," I said as Check-out Lady hands me my receipt. 
"My dog's name is SEX, for your prayers," Check-out Lady said.  
"I will keep REX in my prayers,"  I said thinking I misheard her.  
"No, her name is SEX. S-E-X.  Her full name is SEX MACHINE, but we call her SEX for short," She said. 
Trying not to judge, but it feels funny including the words SEX MACHINE in my prayers. 


  1. Aw, I simultaneously feel absolutely horrible for that lady because seriously, that is a sad story AND highly amused her dog's name is sex machine. Is it possible to sniffle-giggle?

  2. If God has a sense of humor, he'll enjoy hearing your prayers for sex machine.

    My check out line story is a bit more evil. A few months ago I saw a woman and her small child buying new dog supplies - bowls, collar, food, etc. The cashier asked, 'awww, you getting a new puppy?' The woman, who says this like it's completely normal, says, "Oh yeah, our dog now isn't a puppy any more so it's not really cute anymore. We're getting rid of it and getting a new puppy." While she was smiling, the cashier just gave her this look like she was a monster. Meanwhile, my blood was boiling. My wife saw it in my eyes and said don't say anything.

    Psssh, please.

    I have 4 dogs, 2 of which I rescued from assholes like her, so I looked at her daughter and said in the most sweet of tones, "Did you know that your mommy is going to do that to you, too? Once you get bigger and you're no longer cute, she's going to throw you away like you're garbage and get another daughter."

    Daughter got those really big sad eyes and looked up to her mom. Mom told me to go fuck myself and grabbed her kid and her stuff and left.

    Parent of the year goes to...

  3. Wow, just caught up on your posts for the last two weeks. I particularly like the facial story and the poinsettia one was very similar to my most recent post.

    If I may say so, I feel like your posts are getting better? Not that they weren't good before but its like I was getting more and more hooked on the topic when reading each one today...Congrats! (In a non-condescending way)