Sexified Halloween costumes are something of the past

It is no secret that dressing up for Halloween gives us ladies a reason to dress sexy and provocative, or more simply put like sluts.  In my years of dressing up I did my fair share of attempting sexy costumes.  Usually I had some guy in mind I was hoping would like me once he could see how good I was at being someone else for a night (hmmm, doesn't sound so smart now).  I think my most well-known was my Brittany Spears school girl attire, complete with velvet blue bra and all.  Did Brittany actually wear a velvet bra?  I don't think so.  It was probably my way of trying to look super hot back in my college days.  After a few drinks, I did a performance of Hit Me Baby One More Time standing on the coffee table with a crowd of fellow party animals cheering me on.  Oh, I have so much to be proud of.  
Anyways, when I was 23 I started eating large pizzas for breakfast, lunch and dinner (that equals 3 pizzas a day if you are counting) and the Brittany Spears costumes were no longer an option.  

The cheese had made my thighs, hips and everything else expand.  I was officially a Big Girl. I was living in NYC at the time and Halloween is a huge night in the city.  My girlfriends spent weeks pulling together their extra sexy, barely there costumes.  I on the other hand spent one day picking out mine.  A red M & M costume.  

We hit the bars and the clubs and I looked like the odd ball out all night.  Needless to say I didn't get any male attention that night.  Now, almost ten years later and 80 pounds lighter, I have a hard time letting go of the Big Girl I once was.  I no longer seek out the sexy costume, although I could somewhat pull one off.  I still look for the big red m&m costumes to hide inside. 

Cheese orphans pulling at my heart strings

This Cheese Orphan display at my grocery store pulls at my heart strings every time I push my cart buy.  Maybe it is my love for cheese, or maybe my connection with the word  orphan (although, I was adopted, I was not an orphan), but this sign convinces me to buy some odd shaped, perhaps almost too old to eat piece of cheese.  Brilliant advertising on their part.  I actually feel sorry for the neglected pieces of orphan cheese in the basket.  I now have a space in my refrigerator for the cheese orphans to rest.  Most importantly, this gives me yet another excuse to fill my body with my favorite food, Cheese.