Thursday, June 9, 2011

Meet My Friend Natalie Portman

My connection with Natalie Portman started unexpectedly in 2003.  Star Wars came out a few years earlier making her a household name.  Keep in mind, I still have not seen the Star Wars remake or the original for that matter.  An early twenty-year old living in New York, I was thrilled when Bobby D asked me out on a date.  Recently things had ended with my boyfriend of 3 years and the prospect of something new brought needed excitement to my life.  My weight had inflated 70lbs weighing me out at about 200lbs, needless to say men were not knocking down my door. Bobby D ran a NY theater website which should have been my first indication of a red flag.  A perfect gentleman, he picked me up and with dinner reservations planned.  We sat down and assured me everything on the menu was Kosher. He assumed I was Jewish. This is common. I take it as a compliment. Many people assume I am Jewish because of my last name, but alas I am a Polish/Italian Catholic.  Working in the entertainment industry, I let people assume what they wanted rarely correcting them.  

"I called ahead and made sure this restaurant had a Kosher menu.  My mother only approves of me dating Jewish girls.  I love my mother more then anyone in the world.  I dropped my laundry off at her house before this and I'll pick it up on my way home," explained Bobby D. 
"I worship Barbara Streisand.  I bought tickets for my mother and I go to go at $800 each.  I know it sounds extravagant, but she is worth it." 
The evening continued with sweet Bobby D going on and on about himself.  I enjoyed Bobby D's company, but was convinced he needed to jump out of the closet he was hiding in.  The date was a disaster in the romance department.  After dinner, he drove me home and kindly wished me goodnight.  
Walking into my apartment my roommate asks about the date.  Instead of giving him an honest answer that it just wasn't going to work out, I say "Bobby D is still getting over his last girlfriend, NATALIE PORTMAN." It came out of no where.  I did not preplan it.  I was just as surprised as he was at my answer.  Instead of correcting myself, I continued on with the story into the next day at work, and to other friends who asked.  How could I possibly fill the shoes of NATALIE PORTMAN?  
Ironically, later in the year Garden State, one of my favorite movies to this day, came out.  Natalie's character is a compulsive liar about stupid things.  I totally related to her character.  If only she knew how she hurt Bobby D.  Every time I watch a Natalie Portman movie, I think of Bobby D and his broken heart, which didn't really exist. 
Happy 30th Birthday Natalie Portman. 

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