Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Phone call takes a new direction

I talk to my biological paternal grandmother a few times a year.  BioPaternalGrandma is awesome.  She owned a very successful dance studio for girls and recently retired.  I admire and envy her for living a life making a living doing what she loved.  She is seventy years old and has perfectly graceful body with ballerina posture.  I wish I had inherited her physique, and grace.  I do, however, think I inherited her love of dance and music.  Unfortunately, I have no coordination so being a professional dancer of any kind was never in the cards for me.  As I pranced and did my version of ballerina moves around my apartment to Adele's Someone Like You (one of my current favorite choices for releasing myinnercheerleader), I became aware that I truly was born with a love for dancing.  It came from BioPaternalGrandma.  I paused the ipod and picked up the phone.  I was going to tell her.  Surely she would be impressed and proud to hear that her thirty year old granddaughter dances around her apartment alone as inspiration and to feel alive.  She answered the phone very excited to hear from me.   As soon as I heard her voice I realized how ridiculous my news would sound to her.  Still, I tried to get the words out and just couldn't.  Instead, I resorted to the ever entertaining standby of telling stories of the recent wedding of my Mom to my BiologicalMaternalGrandfather.  I never told her about myinnercheerleader and hung up wondering why I even wanted to in the first place.  Maybe I was looking to connect with her or even impress her (if she could only see my sweet dance moves)?  Maybe this is a trait of adoptees, trying to find links in our personality, features and everything else to those biologically linked to us.  I don't have the answer, but it certainly made me think. 

2 comments:

  1. Tell her! call her back, or maybe send her a card. I think she would really like to know.
    I found you after you commented on sarahs Blog about my tattoos, and i'll definitely be reading more! xx
    Belle du Brighton

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  2. Yes!! Tell her! She was excited to hear from you...she'll be excited to hear anything about you and I'm sure she'd rather hear about that, than stories about other people.

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