Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Crazy, Weird, Happy

I'll be the first to admit, I can be very immature.  This weekend was no exception. My Mom got remarried in Las Vegas.  This is my Mom's 3rd marriage.  My Dad and her divorced, her second husband and dear step-father passed away in a car accident, making this her third go round.  I prayed and prayed for my mom to find love again, and truly am thrilled for her.  

I'm used to a life where it is just my Mom and I (and of course now Husband).  I am used to being the one looking out for her and helping her with decisions.  With her new husband in the mix it adds a new dynamic.  Her new man, let's call him John, is a wonderful, kind, man who is head over heals in love with her.  I've never seen a man worship the ground my mother walks on like John.  They met and were engaged in less than two months.  I like a man who knows what he wants.  Here is the kicker.  Now prepare yourself, because your head might start spinning a bit.  
As I've mentioned before I was adopted at birth, not orphan Annie style, so please no sympathy.   My adoption was closed which means I had no contact with the biological family. Just so nobody is confused, when I refer to my Mom this is the woman who adopted and raised me and who I consider my one and only mother.  A few years ago, my biological family made contact with me.  Earlier this year, my Mom and John met.   John is my biological maternal grandfather.  That's right.  My mother married my grandfather. They are 5 years apart in age.   John's daughter gave birth to me almost 31 years ago.  Crazy, weird, and very happy story. 
So needless to say, it was a surreal weekend.  The celebration consisted of Mom, John, Husband, Me, Jules (John's sister) and Jim (John's step-son).  Husband had the honor walking my Mom down the aisle.  When the minister asked him who gives this bride away he froze unprepared for such a questions.  He looks at me desperate for help with the answer.  I mouthed to him to just say I do.  He stumbles a bit and manages to get the words out of his mouth laughing at the same time.  During photos after the ceremony the photographer asks "Now who belongs to who?,"  Looking at me he continues, "Now, this must be your Mom because you two look alike, but huh, you also kinda have your new step-dad's eyes."  
I burst out into laughter as I normally do in uncomfortable situations.  Mind you nobody else is cracking a smile.  My mom just nodes her head and answers that she is my mother and that is that.   
The photographer takes my Mom and John aside for pictures.  From the corner of my eye I notice John kissing on my Mother's neck.  Now, I've come to realize no matter how old you get, you never get comfortable seeing your Mom involved with public displays of affection.  This wasn't a peck he is giving her. He is practically giving her a hickey in the Vegas wedding chapel.  The photographer steps over gently pulling John off of her.  John has a huge grin on his face.  I'm not sure how my face looked, but I'm pretty sure it was not a smile.  
We sit down for dinner and I decide I deserve a glass of wine tonight.  I rarely drink and cannot hold my alcohol to save my life.  Give me one drink and I will tell you anything you want to know.   I no longer have secrets because I have at one point or another let them all out after one drink or so.  Jim raises his glass to give a toast.  It is thoughtful, touching, and appropriate.  When he is done, I take the cue to give a toast.  I have nothing prepared.  I only thought about getting myself through the evening, I didn't even think about needing to give a toast.  My toast went something like this.
"Well, I didn't have anything prepared, but I guess I should say a few words.  This is some crazy ass weird monkey shit (not sure why I threw a monkey in there).  I officially realized God has a greater plan and we have no control over life after this situation here. (at this point I feel husband's hand on my arm signaling I should wrap it up) I'm very happy you two found each other and I wish you a lifetime of happiness. Cheers!"  
Hmmm, no response from the audience.  Strange.  Not one of my better toasts but I figured it could have been worse. Overall it was  great weekend, but I still am in disbelief that my mother married my biological grandfather.  Once again reminded that I have little to no control in life. 


  1. First comment here, found you through ABFTS.

    Haha, wow. This was the first post I read so not sure what to expect but that is a crazy story. Congrats to the happy couple!

  2. Ok,this is something new for me. Thought I'd heard it all.

    I can understand you being thrilled for your mom but still being weirded out by some of this.

    I have found it to be odd, my mom having boyfriends. My parents were married for over 50 years and while I'm happy she's had companionship, it's still strange on many levels, not the least of which would be being "used to being the one looking out for her and helping her with decisions. With her new husband in the mix it adds a new dynamic..". I don't have this to the fullest extent yet and don't look forward to it if it's going to happen.

    Marrying your bio grandpa, wow, another added dynamic. I would tell everyone too. I know it.