The hard part about this is I am perfectly happy in my life. Happier than I ever thought possible. I am still madly in love with my husband of and we have perfectly energetic little kiddos. I spend my days pouring my love and life into them. I spent the first 25 years of my life trying to run away from Texas (which is not a bad place), and what do you know it is where I ended...up for now. The adventure hasn't ended, it has simply changed.
Monday, March 14, 2016
This might be the beginning of a midlife crisis. Thirty-five qualifies as mid-life, right? I'm pretty sure it does. I was watching Good Morning America and yearned for a life in NYC so bad I felt myself wanting to explode. I missed the smells of car exhaust and roasted nuts on the corners. I missed the energy, the hustle and bustle, and the diversity of the people. I missed the life I once dreamed of there. For the few years I got to live there in my early twenties, I did appreciate it. I took pride in the job I had worked so hard to get and felt accomplished by finally making it there. I thought I'd stay in NYC, fall in love, and maybe eventually move to a brownstone in Brooklyn Heights. At that time, kids really didn't even cross my mind or marriage for that matter. I was really only concerned about falling in love and pursuing a career. I thought I'd shop spend my Saturdays at brunch in Soho with friends then maybe heading to Bloomingdales to check out their latest sale, and finally finish the day with a matinee at the Public Theater or some off-Broadway production. My craving for NYC is not something that can be cured with a weekend trip to visit friends. It is more like coming to terms with the loss of a dream. I guess you can have everything in life, just maybe not all at the same time....but a girl (or middle-aged woman) can still dream, right?